THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

"The Alienator

Paranoia is good.Now YOU can get the upper hand against extraterrestrial interlopers with the Alienator brand Pulse-Projection® Defensive Perimeter Field Generator. It keeps those nefarious alien entities from infiltrating organizational strategy meetings, disrupting operational tactics seminars, or gate-crashing family reunions and post-prom voyages of interpersonal discovery.

The Alienator™ brand field generator's PAPP approved human/alien differentiation technology makes the Alienator particularly effective because it uses only electro-magnetic waves to gently bathe the area with alien detecting photo-ionic energy. When an alien presence is discovered the Pulse-Projection® feature firmly, yet humanely neutralizes the alien presence within the protected area.

Paranoia is good.Mostly safe for regular daily use, the Alienator brand Pulse-Projection® Defensive Perimeter Field Generator is approved for use by PAPP and is available from your PAPP authorized Alienator™ dealer. (Proper identification required.)

Ask about our 30-day free trial offer. The Alienator brand Pulse-Projection® Defensive Perimeter Field Generator.* Accept no substitutes.

*patent pending

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