THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

Alien Brainwashing
Have you found us yet?

I spoke earlier of investigating the Church of Enlightened Assumption (http://church-ea.com). I would not advise you to go there. I have to include the URL or I could get sued (like MK Ultras are doing to me). So it is published here for legal reasons only, there is something very wrong going on there, they're too clever to give actual evidence but all the signs point to it. It sounds like brainwashing to me. Wear your silver foil cap at all times, and you will probably (I can't claim for certain, again for legal reasons, and I am not a doctor or psychiatrist) be safe from harm. Or better yet, be perfectly safe and stay at home and read a book.

Remember, if you begin to feel the effects of brainwashing by aliens you must immediately:

1. Turn off all electric devices in your home, including TV, computer, CD player, VCR. Keep a windup Victrola or manual player piano in your home if you must have music during these times. Turn off musical keyboards, lights, and make sure no water is running. Wear silver foil cap at all times. It may sometimes be necessary to wrap your entire body in silver foil. Keep an extra supply on hand, in case this need arises. Do not answer the door, even if it is asking sensible questions.

2. Sit in the center of the largest room in your home. You will feel the aliens asking you to do things, or perform certain acts. Say no. They will at first treat you nicely, begging and pleading with you, but resist. Then they will become menacing. At this point you will become nervous about your well-being, but now is when you must insist even more adamantly that you deny them permission. They will sulk for a while, then depart.

3. To make sure there are no more aliens in your home, use the Hayden Non-Invasive Alien Probe® (Patent Pending). Simply attach the probe to the control box, and stand in the center of the room, turning slowly in a circle, with the probe pointing to the sides of the room. If the light on the box stays blue, there are no further aliens present, and you may remove the foil and turn the electricity back on. If the light turns red, aliens are still there. If the aliens have not departed, they may merely be loitering, or they may be planning their next attack. If they are not planning an attack, leave them alone and they'll depart in time. If they are planning an attack, kill them. It is sometimes difficult to know if they are planning an attack or not, so use your best judgment.

 --H.H.

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)

Talk back to Hayden

Shadow Gov. agent sightings

 

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