Alien Cats
A writer in
one the bulletin boards I associate with
suggests that cats may be creatures from another planet. This is what the aliens would like
us to believe.
Domesticated cats have been around for five thousand years or
more. They were sacred animals to the Egyptians. Now if you think that cats are alien
creatures, you have to ask yourselves why, in five thousand years, haven't the aliens done
what they want to do with us. Why would any civilization smarter than ours hang around us
for five thousand years disguised at cats? This was the basic theme of the Broadway musical
production of Cats, a theme which was largely ignored by theater critics.
No, cats are not aliens, they are as
earthbound as you and me. But for the last sixty years, aliens have been using them as
living cameras. Most cats disappear for a time, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for
days. You cannot find them. It is during these times that they are under direct control of
the aliens. Minute cameras, smaller than a deer tick, are inserted into the optic nerve
tissue and into the aural canals of these cats. They send back direct signals to those in
spacecraft who are monitoring the cats. Or more to the point, monitoring YOU.
Why does your cat stare at you when IT wants to. Why does it insist on bathroom privacy?
Why does it leap onto your lap when IT wants to, not when YOU want it to, like a dog would?
Why does cat food taste worse than dog food?
You don't have to be a genius to add two and two. In this
case, the answer is two cats plus two cats usually equals four aliens. The cat's purr,
which comes from nobody knows where, is merely the machinery being reconfigured every so
often. I will be in trouble for writing this, but that's nothing new. My lead foil cap is
on, my thoughts are my own.
--H.H.
FILES
