THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

Our Pets are Alien Spies

Have you found us yet?

The MK-Ultra people have threatened to sue me for advising you to ditch their product. Let them! I have no money anyway and nothing for them to take except the patents on my various alien detectors, and if they try that, they'll find out just how insidious the government is, because THE PATENT FILES HAVE DISAPPEARED. The US Patent Office CLAIMS they can't find the files nor my patent numbers. Then I realized why. The government doesn't want interlopers hogging their action battling aliens. When it's over, they and they alone want to be the heroes.

Special DeliveryThat's why there is all the "smoke" (MK-Ultra)  about Roswell, and that is why the man who pretends to be a delivery boy for a takeout Chinese joint on Frontage Road is really in the employ of the shadow government which is funded by....well, you know who it is funded by.

This "delivery man" so-called, quotes mine, has attempted to plant an invisible bug in my doorframe each time he brings me my pineapple chicken but I am too smart for him and he has not yet succeeded.

Robotic Alien DogBut there is a dog whose owner "coincidentally" walks him at the same time every day as I leave my home, who pretends to love me (the dog, not the owner pretends to love me, God the structure of the English language can be confusing sometimes, even to a native speaker) but this dog is wired up with equipment inside him to transmit my essences to the aliens.

So let them sue me. Just let them try. They won't even be able to find me, unless they hire a detective or something like that.  

 --H.H.

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)


 

Talk back to Hayden

Shadow Gov. agent sightings

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