THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?


You all know about the government's COBRA program which reads every piece of email written, parses it for key words and sends those it deems suspicious to CIA, FBI and Secret Service agents for follow-up action. You also know that every single telephone call you make is under the same type of observation. Your innocent email or casual remark during a telephone conversation could put YOU on the suspect list and cause more trouble for you than there are brain cells in Russell Crow's head.

Sorry, that was a bad example. It could cause more trouble for you than there are lice on a Taliban latrine cleaner.

We all believe that the last bastion of privacy is the bathroom, but even there we are not safe (see my toilet cam article) . And now there is an even worse invasion of our rights. The eye-cam.

Although this science started in China, the technology has spread rapidly and now agents of every known and some unknown governments are being implanted with eye-cams.

The eye-cam is a device no larger than a hummingbird's nostril. It is surgically implanted behind the cornea of an agent. The device is not felt by the wearer, and is controlled remotely by satellite from anywhere in the world. Pictures from the eye-cam are broadcast back to whichever field office is controlling the agent In some cases data is broadcast to certain alien colonies elsewhere in the universe.

At the moment there is no protection from the eye-cam. You are advised to blindfold anyone with whom you have contact before permitting them to enter your home. Make them wear the blindfold at all times until they are safely out of your house. If the person claims to be a repairman, even the repairman you called, be extra suspicious.

Be particularly careful of people who don't appear to be looking at you, or people who you catch looking away when your glance darts to them. These are likely to be eye-cam wearers, rather than people who overtly stare at you.

Remember that a hard punch to the eye behind which the eye-cam is implanted may disable it, but be sure you are punching the correct eye.

Keep your doors locked and whatever you do stay close to the silver foil. Blindfold all visitors so you will never be "ready for your closeup, Mr. DeMille."


The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)


Talk back to Hayden

Shadow Gov. agent sightings


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