THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?


 

Last week we discussed dental microphones, this week the implants are a bit more sinister. If you have ever had surgery of any kind since 1956, you should be aware that surgeons have the capability of implanting tiny crystals into your soft tissue which transmits to a receiver up to 150 miles away. 

Receivers are now portable (and have been since 1969) which allows them to monitor you wherever you go.  Have you been operated on? Are they, therefore, spying on you? According to the United States Government Roswell ALLIANCE Files, there is a better than 65 % chance that a receiver exists with your name on it. If your name is "Pioneer" or "Bose" the odds go up enormously.

 --H.H.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)

Talk back to Hayden

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