There's a new, nicotine-free cigarette on the
market called MK-Ultra. While this may seem like good news for smokers, it is not. Our
sources report a mind altering substance contained in the herbal mix which is intended to
soften your brain and make it more receptive to takeover from an alien power.
While some may scoff at the idea, let me
remind everyone that MK-Ultra is the code name used by the United States Army in the
1950's--70's for a program in which unwitting soldiers were given LSD "experimentally" to
see if it made them more suggestible. Those who doubt this may visit the following
websites:
(DATA REMOVED AT REQUEST OF US
GOVERNMENT)
We do not condone smoking cigarettes, but if
you must smoke stay away from MK-Ultras. Better to get emphysema and lung cancer than to
allow aliens to capture your mind. If you are already smoking MK-Ultras, throw them out and
pay attention to the warning signs of alien invasion which manifest in your body:
1. crust in corner of eyes upon awakening
2. unreasonable anger when robbed of money or assaulted by a stranger
3. a desire for personal happiness and security
4. thinking you have a shot with Anna Nicole Smith, if only you could meet her.
5. you think Craig Kilborn is funny
--H.H.
FILES
