THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

The time draws near... keep looking.

 

Do you still read newspapers and magazines? You do? Do you know that the ink used to print the vast majority of daily newspapers in the United States contains a chemical that seeps into your bloodstream through your skin and makes its way to your brain? 

Once in the brain tissue it weakens your will to resist alien commands, making you a perfect patsy when the invasion happens. Further, it conditions your brain to receive the subliminal messages broadcast by the aliens during major sporting events in the U.S.A. and U.K. 

Get your news from the Internet, I beg you, never pick up a newspaper again, not even to swat a dog. --H.H.

 

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Haydenis a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)

 

Talk back to Hayden

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