THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

The time draws near... keep looking.

Everyone knows we don't have the full story from Roswell, but in the myriad of theories proposed by various students of the case, nobody has yet thought of following the money. Who makes a profit from the sales of souvenirs, t-shirts etc. to the visitors who flock to this site. The answer is obvious. Motel and restaurant owners, garages, souvenir store proprietors. Has anyone ever questioned these people, tested them, subjected them to the Hayden Bright Light Alien Detector (pat. pending)? 

Nobody to this date has suggested, as I am now doing, that the above named individuals be put under the same scrutiny we gave to the diversionary (and obviously fake) Alien Autopsy. The REAL aliens (motel owners, garage owners, do I really have to say it again?) want you to believe that they (the aliens) look like the Roswell pictures. In fact, aliens look just like us except for a tiny doorknob shaped growth concealed in the armpit hair, and birthmarks on their asses that resemble the crab nebula. These are sometimes covered with cosmetics. Send for our informative one-sheet The Souvenir Sellers of Roswell and Their Co-Conspirators, the Motel Owners, Garage Owners and Restaurant Owners of Roswell. Find out who they pay taxes to. Send ten dollars cash to:

 Fakeaddress, Box 111, Montpelier, VT. 

(If you are an alien and send for this, don't expect anything in return.  -- H.H.)

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)

Talk back to Hayden

Shadow Gov. agent sightings

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