THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES   You're being watched.
by Untrue News paranoia editor Hyman Hayden**

How did you find us?

Silver.  Not Tin!!!
Have you found us yet?

In some of my past articles, I've told you to use silver foil when watching television, to prevent your brain and body from being taken over by aliens. Many of my readers have written asking me if they can use aluminum foil or tinfoil instead of silver foil. The answer is NO.

Aliens are not susceptible to aluminum or tin. It will not block the energy waves emanating from your TV set, nor will it prevent them from controlling your mind. When the United States went off the silver standard for coins in 1965, it was a great boon to the aliens, who could now carry pocket change. One wonders Silver coinage -- deadly to aliens!WHY the government decided to remove silver from our coinage and replace it with a copper-nickel "sandwich" type of metal, base and valueless. The reason, of course, is because the aliens were becoming ill and dropping like flies when they handled US money that contained silver. (See: US death statistics, 1964, the last year of silver coinage, and compare with US death statistics, 1965).

Here is a simple test. Carry with you at all times something made of silver. An old coin, a spoon, it doesn't have to be sterling silver, even silver plate will do. When you meet someone you suspect is an alien, wave the silver at them, and attempt to touch the silver to their skin. If they back away, or look at you oddly, or react as though you were a threat to them, you have something very close to proof that your target is a being from beyond our solar system.

Silver will frighten and repell aliens. It may even be fatal. Always wear a silver foil cap and carry silver.

Silver foil has to be specially purchased from chemical supply stores. It is not sold in supermarkets or hardware stores. You might like to ask yourselves WHY this is so, but I think you already know the answer, don't you?

Always wear the foil when watching television, and be sure to keep a silver foil cap on your head at all times. I would advise answering the door wearing the foil as well, you never know who might be standing there. Will people laugh at you? Probably. But when the aliens attack, guess who will have the last laugh. I will. And so will you if you heed my warning. Later, we can get together and laugh about our dead relatives and friends who were too stupid or too vain to follow this simple procedure.

 --H.H.

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)


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